What do I do?
by sagacitylust
Summary: Sei and Youko after graduating from Lilian. Sei coming to terms with her feelings for Youko and Youko's long harboured feelings for Sei.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Marimite "Maria-sama ga Miteru"

Marimite Sei x Youko 1

Swishhhh... BOOM!

Streak of lights flashed outside of Satou Sei's apartment window. She watched as each flash resemble crooked fingers, devastating and cruel, ready to grab the unsuspecting. This only added to the heavy feeling of gloominess and helplessness within Sei. She heaved a huge sigh trying to dispel some of these feelings weighing her down but it only emphasized her frustration.

"Ahhh! I'm going out of my mind!"

"I'm so bored!" she continued her monologue.

"The rain won't stop. There's no T.V. reception and there's only a pancake mix in my cabinet that I can't even cook because I don't have a freaking stove. Nothing is gotta be worst than this" she rambled on.

It's Saturday. She arrived at her new apartment early this morning waiting for her stuff to arrive. She wanted to be there to received her stuff from the movers but now the weather's gone bad and she received a call from the movers notifying her of the delay. Apparently, the typhoon which was due to make a landfall the next day has gained strength which sped its arrival and is now raging outside.

She though she could get things done today so she can be safe and warm when nature release its onslaught tomorrow. At first she was livid she even resorted to threats of insurance claims, lawsuit and whatever she can think of. The person on the other side must be used to this kind of outburst and just stated calmly that if they make the delivery now, all her stuff will get wet by the move then she was ask to confirm if she still want them delivered. She's got no choice but to concede. She knows she's being unreasonable, that the typhoon arriving earlier than expected was not the mover's fault, but that did not did not make her feel better.

An hour later she finally calmed down accepting that there's nothing to be done and being in a fit will not solve anything.

With nothing to do her mind drifted to different things. She thought of her new life as a university student at Lilian University. It's been two months but she's still adjusting.

"Two months, huh."

Two months...two months she hadn't seen her friends... her best friend. She miss her friends but mostly she miss..her.

Her best friend, Youko Mizuno, enrolled at a different university to become a lawyer. Their universities weren't very far apart but because they were both busy coping with university life, they haven't seen each other since the start of school year. They've been calling each other every now and then but seeing each other and hearing from each other are two different things.

"I wanna see her" she said to the empty room.

She felt her stomach grumble but there's nothing to eat. She can't go out because she's got nothing to shield her from the rain. She did have her luggage full of clothes. She thought she can change when she gets back from the convenient store nearby but she doesn't really want to enter the store soaking wet, her clothes plastered to her body like a diving suit.

She scratched that idea.

Tink.

Tink. Tink. Tok.

She heard tinkering coming from the other side of her right wall, from her only next door neighbour. Her apartment was on the 2nd floor, the last door on the left side of the apartment complex.

Ping.

She heard a loud pin drop then a few second after, the tinkering resumed.

It was starting to annoy her. With all the negative feelings she's been having, she's going to blow over and her neighbour would surely be the sole casualty.

She sprinted to her neighbour's door and knock furiously. She heard hurried footsteps getting louder.

'I'm gonna let whoever's in there have it', she thought menacingly glaring at the door, ready to paunch any second.

The door swung open.

"You!..." she started to say. She didn't continue. Couldn't continue. Her face which was distorted with anger changed to a comical expression. Eyes bulging and mouth hanging open. All thoughts flew from her mind. It took her a while to recover. By then, the person in front of her was already giggling.

"Y-Youko?", she said disbelieving.

"Hello to you to Sei", The girl at the door greeted smoothly, mirth still evident on her face. Sei felt instantly embarrassed by her reaction. Just then her stomach grumbled.

Both girls stared at each other. Youko recovered first and started to laugh uncontrollably while Sei who hardly blush, turned impossibly red.

"Would you like to come in? I'm just about to prepare to cook for lunch", Youko offered as soon as she calmed down.

"Y-yeah. You sure know my needs", Sei joked trying to play-off her embarrassing scene.

She was led to the dining area. Sei looked around. It was the same as her own apartment. Living room and dining room form an L-shape around a boxed-room which should be her bedroom. There's also a door on one side of the kitchen which would be the toilet and bath separated by a permanently clouded glass.

She could see the furniture and appliances are in place though there were no decorations or ornaments which made the room look bare.

She also got a quick look at Youko's bedroom. The door slightly ajar. She saw a hammer, some nails and a toppled frame atop a small cabinet.

'Ah so that was what she was doing. Must be putting up photos. She must not know she can't use ordinary nails on concrete'

She returned her gaze back to her hostess who just finish preparing tea. Sei seated herself on one side of the table with four chairs, one on each side.

"You know, you can't use ordinary nails on a concrete wall. You should use a drill to make a hole or a concrete nail, specially made for concrete."

"Ugh, so that's why. Tsk"

Youko served her a cup then opened a small fridge, probably to get the ingredients out for the meal.

"I only have eggs, ham and some tomatoes"

"Let me cook. You know I'm better than you"

Youko prepared the rice, on a rice cooker of course, and Sei cooked the side dish for both of them.

It was a simple meal. They were both silent for the meal. Mainly because Sei's mouth is stuffed and couldn't talk and Youko ate quietly while looking at her with a smile. While Youko was cleaning the dishes, Sei went to sit at the sofa by the living room. Sei kneeled at the sofa facing the back of it so she can lean on it and watch Youko. Youko's back is turned towards Sei.

Sei likes looking at her best friend working. Youko's swift and fluid motion is calming. Youko reached out for a used glass to wash and Sei followed the movement with her eyes. Looking at her best friend's slender finger, trailing a path to the sharp corner of her elbow then up towards the delicaye curve of her shoulders. Sei paused for a moment and noted that Youko's straight raven hair is longer now, almost touching her shoulders. She was a bit disappointed because it covered her smooth nape.

She continued her observation taking note of everything. From Youko's graceful back, to her slim waist, to the flair of her hips. Sei was mesmerized, captivated by her form and beauty. She wanted to follow this sensuous journey with her fingers , not jist her eyes.

Sei started to feel warm and giddy.

'This is not calming me down', she thought.

Her eyes landed on a pair of firm and soft...

"aherm..."

Sei was startled by the sound and her eyes darted up to her best friend's face turned to her with one eyebrow raised. Youko was done with the dishes.

"Like what you see?"

Sei swallowed, a bit flustered from getting caught red handed. The warm feeling is now gone, replaced by cold beads of sweat.

"Yeah, I sure do. Your hot ass can melt an iceberg I tell ya!", she said wagging her eyebrows suggestively, trying to play it off. Acting like a pervy old man as she always do when she teases her friends.

"Huff..", she said miffed.

Youko settled at the opposite end of the sofa. They were silent for a while.

Sei have done it before, many times in fact. Watching her friend. It always makes her fuzzy inside but she reasoned to herself that she was just happy and grateful. Happy she has someone like her, dependable and strong and grateful for staying beside her through tough times, especially during the darkest days in her past.

Her past was indeed dark. She was drunk in love. Emotions running high like fever rush until everything crashed and burn.

'I was a mess. Messier than a train wreck. Youko help me put the pieces of my life back together even when I didn't ask her to. I even tried to push her away but she didn't budge. Thanks to her, I've meet a lot of friends and had a lot of fun. I'm happy now and I don't want anything to change. I'm content... I am... am I?'

Sei was confused as to where her thoughts led her.

'I am content.' She reiterated to herself but not fully believing it.

"So... what are you doing here?", Sei ask her friend and to distract herself from her thoughts.

"I moved here a week ago. I was getting tired of the long ride to my university so I booked for the nearest apartment I could find. I also wanted to be more independent so here I am. I was going to tell you but I got caught up with a lot of things and didn't get the chance. And yourself?"

"Same reason as yours, I suppose. I was planning on moving today but the typhoon delayed the movers to deliver my things.", she replied ending it with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, the rain started pretty early this morning. I'm sure it will end before the day is out."

"You're right. It came fast enough, It should leave fast enough as well or else you'll just have to take care of me. Seeing that you are my best friend and my only neighbour, you wouldn't have me sleep on a cold and empty apartment would you?" giving her best friend her best pitiful eyes.

"Hmmp. As long as you behave like an adult I'll take you in. But you might not need to. The rain is no longer as heavy as it was this morning.", she replied listening to the swishing noise from the rain which has noticeably quieted down.

They settled comfortably lounging at the sofa, making small talk, about their friends, their respective universities, and everything else.

Sei shoved all of today's event from her mind and just enjoyed her best friend's presence.

"I want a cup of coffee, would you like one as well?", Youko feeling parch offered to the brunette.

"I'll make it. You can just sit there", Sei stood and moved to the kitchen.

She was giving the cups some final stir when she felt a something move behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist from behind, encircling her in a tight embrace. She can feel Youko's breast squeezed on her back. Sei felt hot all of a sudden. There's an intense feeling on the pit of her stomach. Like a strong pull she is helpless to fight against.

'Why am I feeling like this? It's just a hug. It's just Youko, my best friend. Did I miss her this much?...to the extent that I yearn for her? Burn for her?'

Youko tightened her embrace and rested her head on Sei's shoulder.

"I missed you"

-0-

End of Chapter

-0-

I don't see much Sei x Youko fanfics so I made one myself. This is my 2nd fanfic. If you got time please read my first one as well.

Did some updates regarding the grammar so you wouldn't get distracted by them. It's not error proof but it's much better than before.

Hope you liked it. R&R


	2. Chapter 2

Marimite Sei x Youko 2

Sei's POV

"I missed you"

Those were very simple words. Uttered so softly... so gentle. Those words washed over me tickling some unfamiliar emotion. It awakened a craving inside of me. I wanted to be closer, to touch her... to take her.

I was momentarily stunned by how strong my reactions were, from just a casual embrace and just a few casual words.

This is Youko. My best friend. I reminded myself.

She must've felt me stiffen and she let go. The loss of contact making me long for it. I turned around and faced her. She was standing just a step away from me. I can see her blushing, I thought It was cute but she's not meeting my eyes. I reached out for her.

"In coming transmission. In coming..."

A robotic monologue coming from my now vibrating phone snapped me from whatever I was about to do.

I could almost hear the atmosphere shatter around us.

I fumbled for my phone and stared at the caller's number, still dazed from what was happening just a few second ago.

I answered the phone.

"Good afternoon Satou-san. We have your stuff here at the apartment lobby. Since the rain died down, we thought you'd appreciate a speedy delivery. Please process the authorization so we can bring them to your room."

"Ah...Yes. Yes, give me a minute and I'll meet you there."

I ended the call swiftly.

"Ah... It was the movers. I'll just go get my stuff at the lobby."

"Y-yeah, I'll come and help you unpack later."

I run down to the lobby and made all the arrangements. My things were all brought up in 30 minutes.

I was sitting in the middle of my living room, boxes littered the floor. I heard someone knocking at the door.

'Must be Youko'

"It's open. Come right in!", I shouted.

Youko found me lost in the sea of boxes.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start" 'in more ways than one', I added in my thoughts as I'm reminded of the last scene we were in.

"We can start to figure out what's on the boxes", She suggested.

"I guess so"

'She's acting like the usual Youko. Was the atmosphere we had going back there just a figment of my imagination? Was I the only one feeling the tension. Damn, Am I just sexually frustrated?'

I focused on the task at hand. I want it done and over with so I can arranged my own thoughts later.

Close to midnight, we finished arranging everything. The only thing left to do is dispose the stacks of flattened empty boxes tomorrow.

We agreed to buy something at the convenient store for dinner and went back on our separate rooms. Too tired to stay up even a little longer. I ate my dinner fast and showered in record time.

I lay staring at the ceiling. I can feel my body getting heavy but my mind is still hyperactive. It must be because of that embrace.

'Am I really sexually frustrated?'

I thought of what happened.

She hugged me from behind and told me, she missed me. Thinking on it now, there should be nothing provocative or seductive about it.

'Was all of that just me?... I'm sexually frustrated?'

I flipped on my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. I muffled a scream. I can't believe I'm sexually frustrated, but that's where the arrows are pointing to.

I felt guilty realizing I just sexually fantasized about Youko, my best friend. How do I free myself from this frustration? Immediately the answer came to me. I'm a freaking adult, I know about getting laid and masturbation, only, I've never done it before. I never felt I needed to until now.

I decided to try it. Just go with the flow. Whatever feels good.

I closed my eyes and I imagined myself being touched by someone else, touching those same places with my own hands.

I started on my stomach. Drawing circles lightly with my fingers and imagined someone else was doing it to me. That someone is touching me so tenderly, caressing me lovingly with wicked slender fingers. Those fingers must belong to a woman. With my track record, of course it must be a woman.

Her fingers are now making its way up to my breast. She pushes up my bra to free my mounds cupping them reverently. I felt hot, so hot I'm starting to sweat. She run her thumbs over each of my nipples. I caught my breath and marvelled at this magical sensations. There were sparks of electricity working it's way all over my body. I heard myself moan and it only intensified my desire. She continued rubbing my protruding nipples, pinching them softly then roughly.

She freed one of my breast and her hand moved down slowly, her other hand continued with the assault from one breast to the other.

Her hand moved further south, over my belly and under my pants. She reached deeper until she found a small nub brushing lightly then massaging it expertly over my underwear. I stop breathing for a few seconds. I started to whimper. It felt so good. So good. It was like every cell on my body came alive. Stimulated by the attention focused on that bundle of nerves, I trembled. I am panting heavily now.

Those fingers pulled aside my underwear and touched my clit directly. The moment of contact was a mixture of bliss and torture. I am on edge. I feel like I'm running towards a cliff but instead of slowing down, I wanted to jump off it. I'm so near... I'm almost...

"I missed you"

Those words drove me mad. I bit my lips to stop myself from screaming. It was a pleasure like no other. That moment of sweet release. I ascended so high and exploded. It was glorious.

When I came back to my senses, still catching my breathe, I was mortified.

"I missed you"

Those words played over and over in my head. I opened my eyes to make sure she wasn't in my room. I was indeed alone.

"Good God. I just masturbated on my best friend!"

I couldn't believe it.

But what I couldn't believe more is the fact that I actually want to do my best friend.

I'm an ass.

Morning came too fast. I didn't get much sleep and I wanted to stay in bed longer.

There was a knock on my door. I ignored it.

"Sei get up! I want to get some groceries. You should come too!" the woman at the door shouted.

I sat up in an instant. That voice... that voice which was the reason I didn't get much sleep dare to wake me up?

I rushed to the door intending to tell her off and leave me alone.

As soon as I opened the door, she grabbed my face and gave me a quick kiss... on the cheek.

"Morning!" she chirp.

That kiss might have only meant to be a greeting for her but for a moment there, I thought she was going for my lips. With what I did last night and my realization after that. I instantly froze.

Before I could form any coherent word.

She marched off to her door, while saying,

"Go get changed. Knock when you're ready"

I was left dumbfounded.

'What just happened?'

I was jolted back from my thoughts when my stomach started to growl. I don't have to check my stock to know there is nothing there.

'I really do need to get some groceries.'

I changed clothes taking that time to calm myself. When I was finally confident of my emotional and mental stability. I headed to her door.

We had breakfast at a cafe.

We agreed to split the cost of groceries and agreed to eat together whenever possible. This way we can save up and we can prepare the meals together saving from needless effort.

So far, I was doing well. I haven't had a stray thought towards Youko. Last night's activity must've been effective and now I'm relieved of my sexual frustration. My reaction from the kiss on the cheek this morning was just a slip or so I believed.

I was pushing the cart and following behind Youko. She was discriminately throwing items in asking little of my opinion.

I might be a better cook but she's a better nutritionist.

A beautiful woman passed by the same aisle and we brushed shoulders due to the narrow space. I followed her with my gaze and smiled triumphantly. I was happy to prove that I am no longer sexually frustrated. I didn't feel anything about that sudden brush nor do I feel any attraction to that woman. I returned my gaze in front of me, smile still plastered on my face.

I was met by murderous black orbs.

"What?", I ask.

"hmnmp. Idiot", she walked on stomping her feet.

I didn't get what her problem was but I just continued smiling feeling proud on myself.

I was still cheerful when we got back to her apartment. It was the first door before mine so we unpacked her groceries first.

I can see Youko is still miffed. She was handling the groceries like a child having a tantrum. The eggs almost broke while she was placing them on the egg holder.

"I don't know what your problem is but don't torture the food", I half joked.

"Shut up!"

She continued with her tantrum and It got me irked.

I grabbed her wrist to stop her and scold her but the moment I touched her, I knew I shouldn't have. I let go of her as fast as I can.

I can see she was shocked.

But I cannot be mistaken. I felt same sparks of electricity I which coursed through me last night.

'That's not possible. How could I want her like this? I just relieved myself last night.'

"Y-YOU IDIOT!", she shouted at me

"Me?... What did I ever do to you?"

"Nothing! nothing at all but you're still an idiot", she said still a little loud

"What are you telling me? I don't get you", my voice getting louder as well.

She moved and shouted straight to my face.

"I saw you with the lady at the grocery. You followed her with your eyes and smiled like a maniac. You perv. I bet you were fantasizing about her weren't you? You're despicable! You Idiot!", she said pointing a finger and poking me hard by the shoulder to make a point.

'What?...that was totally the opposite of what I was thinking'

It got me riled up. I'm so angry at her accusations. I hate it when I get accused of something I didn't do and I know I'm not guilty of that. I clenched my fist so tight trying to hold myself back.

"Stop accusing me of such nonsense and stop calling me an idiot!", I shouted back now.

"Or what?", she taunted.

"I'll shut YOU up!", I threatened. By now, I've reached my limit.

"You can try but..."

I didn't let her finished. As I promised I shut her up.

I crashed my lips on hers, tasting a hint of mint and sweet vanilla. Her lips were so soft against mine. I couldn't stop myself, I devoured those damnable lips. I've taken so much and I still crave for more. I couldn't get enough of her. I forced my tongue inside her mouth. Anything I touch with my tongue I claimed for myself. This must be the taste of ambrosia, the food of the gods. I stroke the top of her mouth with my tongue and was rewarded with a moan... moan? Was that of pleasure or of hurt?

I was brought back to my senses and I untangled myself from her in a flash, almost throwing her off balance.

We stared at each other. I can see her eyes bulging from disbelief.

Her hair is a mess. Her face is flushed and her lips a little swollen.

She was beautiful.

I groaned inwardly.

She was right. I am despicable. I am an idiot.

She must hate me now.

"I'm sorry..." I said regretfully, knowing that I've hurt her. I wanted to say more but my mind is still reeling and my body still burning.

I left in a hurry and went to my own apartment. I threw myself on my bed.

I started to cry.

'What have I done? She must hate me now. Forcing myself on her like that. What if she leaves me too?'

Pain. I felt that before but this is much worse. I am grief stricken by the mere thought of losing her.

'No,no,no... I can't lose her. I can't have another train wreck. This time I know I wouldn't survive it. Just thinking about it is killing me. I love her too much to ...'

'I love her', this sudden admission shook me. This wasn't just a simple love to a friend, I know that now.

'I'm in love with Youko', All emotions that have been bombarding me came to a halt.

"I'm in love with Youko", I repeated loudly.

'Oh God, I'm in love with her and I just hurt her!'

End of chapter 2

My very first rated M. What cha think? Reviews are very much welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Marimite Sei x Youko 3

Youko's POV

I woke up on a Friday morning with the thoughts of her. I must have dreamt about her but I can't remember now.

It's been almost a week.

She hadn't shown her face to me since that kiss.

THE KISS.

The kiss I've been waiting for so long. It was better than I could've ever imagined. I imagined our first kiss would be sweet, slow, innocent and full of wonder. I snickered at that, what was I? A high schooler? Oh yeah, I was. Well, I sure was glad she didn't kiss me that way because now anything less than that THE KISS won't satisfy me.

I've been in love with her for so long and I have been waiting. Waiting patiently because I know her past. I know how fragile her heart is, no matter how tough she acts. I've seen her break before and I've seen how she has struggled to repair it. I was afraid that if I go too fast, It might leave her shaken and push me away.

When I hugged her and told her I missed her. I was tempted, so very tempted to touch her more. The feel of her warmth next to me is so addictive.

I would've liked to stay like that a bit more but I felt her stiffen and I was afraid I might've push my luck too far.

I let go instantly not wanting her to fell uncomfortable. The longing I have for her must've intensified during the two month's we were apart. When she appeared in front of my doorstep, I was surprised but more than that I was simply thankful to see her. Having her alone for myself after two months of not seeing her, I couldn't help myself be a little selfish. I needed a little physical contact.

Luckily, her phone rang and I was glad it distracted her.

The next morning, I gave her a peck on the cheek to test the waters and yet again, she froze from my touch. I hurried back to my door to hide my disappointment.

When I saw her checking out a woman at the grocery, a brilliant smile on her face, I saw red.

'How dare she flirt with another woman and froze up when it's me?', I fumed.

By sheer will, I held on to my temper. I know we are in a public place and I don't want to embarrassed the both of us.

I was still angry when we got home. I was trying to calm myself down by venting my frustration elsewhere but she just had to make it harder for me. I couldn't stop the flow of words that came from my mouth. The last tread of my patience snapped and I lost it.

I thought she would walk away and leave me to my grievances. That's what we do when we have a big argument. Whoever is more emotionally stable would walk out so both sides could cool down.

I wasn't expecting for her to kiss me.

THE KISS.

I can't help but emphasized that. To me, it was magical. In my head, It was like a camera lens zooming in to capture a vivid and sharp master piece. My entire being focused on that moment magnifying the experience.

Finally! Finally, I can feel her lips with mine. She was rough but I didn't mind. I wanted to reciprocate but she was quite forceful and it was trilling. She took what she wanted and I willingly let her. When she shoved me away ending the kiss, my head was still reeling. It was like riding a roller coaster from the peak going down, leaving my soul behind and it hadn't caught up yet. When my awareness returned, she was gone.

It's been five days since that happened.

I can't let her avoid me any longer. Tomorrow is a saturday. I'm afraid she might go away for the weekend just to avoid me. I can't have that. She can't give me a taste of heaven just to push me down to hell on the next breathe. The only reason I let her be this past few days is because we have classes and I at least want to give her time to reflect on what happened.

If that kiss turns out to be just a spur of the moment thing for her and there is no substantial meaning at all, then fine. It will hurt so much, I just know it, but aren't I hurting now too? I am also aware that it will definitely affect our friendship but her avoiding me like this is affecting our friendship too. It's clear. There is no going back now.

If she's not going to do anything about this situation, then I will. I will confess to her and whatever happens, I will face it. I've been waiting for way too long. The way things are, I've got nothing left to lose.

This is a stakeout.

My class ended early so I came home by early afternoon.

For the past few days Sei always comes home after dinner so she must still be out.

This stakeout is making my nerves trip over themselves. I'm all jittery. I decided to prepare a dinner for two so I have a reason to go over her place.

The dinner have been prepared and only needs reheating if it gets cold.

I'm on a stakeout again.

My neck is now sore from straining, trying to catch a sound from Sei's apartment.

I heard a door close so I stood from my post on the Sofa and reheated the dinner I made. This will give her enough time to change and relax before our inevitable confrontation.

I took huge breathes three times to calm my nerves. I was holding our dinner with both hands so I have no choice but to shout through her door.

"Sei, 'you there? Open up, I brought dinner."

Nothing.

"Sei? won't you open up? My hands are getting tired."

Still nothing.

I am irked.

'Damnit how can I get her to open the door?... Hmnnn.'

I inhaled and filled my lungs with as much air as it could possibly hold.

"Ahhhhhh", I screamed.

I screamed so elegantly I could almost her the cop sirens racing over, coming for my rescue.

As I expected Sei opened her door instantly, it banged on the wall. Worry etched on her faced.

I greeted her with my sweetest smile.

She looked confused.

Operation: Open Door. Success!

Before she could regain her senses. I forced my way in.

She didn't say a word even after we finished eating. I noticed she would glance at me when she thinks I wasn't looking.

'what an idiot, what is she trying to accomplish acting like this?'

I decided to act first.

"I'm sure you know we need to talk."

Silence

"Talking on the dinning table is a bit intimidating let's move to your couch"

I moved to the couch with her behind me. Her couch wasn't so big she has no choice but to sit close to me and as a common courtesy she will have to face me. Avoiding me would be too obvious.

It is obvious!

She seated as far from me as possible without falling and she was facing towards me but was looking anywhere else but me.

I was really annoyed now. So instead of confessing I changed my mind. I will force her talk instead.

"Sei, do you have something to tell me?"

"Nothing"

'Nothing? If there was nothing, you needn't say it!'

"Do you have nothing to say about last weeks event?"

This seems to have gotten her attention. She tensed but didn't say a thing.

Now I'm really angry.

"Are you never gonna talk to me again? Why are you avoiding me? What are you so afraid of?" I shouted feeling my confidence draining from each word.

I paused clearing a lump in my throat.

"Do you love me?" I ask a little quieter.

I thought she wasn't going to answer.

I was ready to leave. I can't confess now, my throat seemed to have locked-up.

"I can't love you the same way"

'She's rejecting me?...but I haven't confessed yet. Did she figure it out? Was that why she was avoiding me? She didn't want to hurt me by rejecting me?'

"I'm in love with you", she's was looking down at her clasp hand resting atop her lap.

'Wait...WHAT?... whoa this is confusing. I'm in love with her and she says she's in love with me but it's not the same?...HUH?'

"I know you only see me as your best friend..." She continued unaware of my internal conflict.

"... but that's not all you are to me. I'm in love with you. I came to terms with my feelings only recently but I think I've been in love with you longer than that. I want to kiss you again. Feel your lips to mine. I want to hold you tight and feel your warmth. I want to touch you and own every piece of you. I've been avoiding you because I can't help but want these things from you."

My eyes are blurry, I can feel tears running down my cheeks. I didn't even know when I started crying.

"Sei, look at me", my voice thick from my pent up emotions I almost choked.

She wouldn't look at me. Her head still bowed down.

I moved closer. I cupped her face with my hands and lifted her face towards mine.

I can see tears streaming from her eyes. We must looked like a crying mess. Even so, I looked her straight in the eyes, and tried to convey every bit of love I have for her.

"You idiot"

It's going to take forever if we take things at her pace.

Still cupping her face. I gave her a gentle kiss. Doing it slow and sweet. I can still taste the uncertainty in her mouth. So I broke the kiss to make my declaration loud and clear.

"I'm in love with you, too. You idiot. Now... What do you want from me again?"

She smiled and more tears spilled from her eyes.

"I'll show you", she said.

She swooped down on my lips and showed me what she wanted.

She pulled me on her lap without breaking the kiss. I can still taste the tears that fell on her lips. The saltiness coupled with the sweet feel of her soft lips. She kissed me tenderly and I can feel her love in every touch of our lips.

I felt empty when she suddenly broke the kiss. She smiled at me and as she stood. She carried me with both hands and I slung my arms around her neck.

It was a quick trip to her bedroom. She laid me down carefully and crawled atop me.

She smiled at me again but this time there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I hope you're ready because I'm going to take everything I want tonight"

The moment our lips touched, I knew it was different from the kiss we had moments ago. This time there is no gentleness, no soft sighs and no sweet caress. This kiss was a continuation from last week This kiss was pure lust. It wasn't a question of who is dominating who, all I can do now is survive the onslaught. She sucked at my bottom lip and I moaned. Her tongue demanded entrance, to instinctively conquer. I let her. I let her reach as far as she can and take as much as she wants. I gripped tighter on her shoulders. I needed to anchor myself or I'll het swept away.

She removed my hands from her shoulders and directed them to the headboard.

"Hold on tight, love.", she whispered in my ear. She gave my ear a playful nip and I quiver with anticipation.

Her lips returned to mine and I held on for dear life.

She rained kisses on my face as she unbutton my blouse, one by one, so agonizingly slow. She spread my blouse and lightly laid her hand flat on my stomach. I inhaled sharply at the contact and I whimpered. What sweet torture.

She descended to my neck and suck at the pulse just below the corner of my jaw. She laved and sucked and at the same time ran feathery touches with her nails and fingertips.

"Sei... Ahh...so good"

I can fell my joints weaken. I am melting under her touch. She continued to kiss, lick and suck until I'm sure I'll be wearing a scarf all week, but I don't mind, I love the feel of her mouth in my skin.

She kissed the top of my breast, the part where my bra doesn't cover, giving nips here in there, making me crazy. She wound her arms around me. I lifted myself up a little so she can unhook my bra.

She took it off me immediately and without any preamble, she took my right nipple in her mouth while she pinched the other. I can feel my hands shaking every time she sucks my breast I can feel streaks of fire running along my veins, reaching my fingertips. Most of all, I can feel the heat gathering between my legs.

"Hmnnn...Sei... please...nmnn"

"Hm? Tell me what you want love." She whispered loud enough for me to hear and she her breath tickling my now sensitive nipple. My mind went blank.

She moved her mouth to the other breast. She licked and suck much like the one before.

But I yearn for her too.

"Sei, let me touch you too", my voice almost broke.

Giving my nipple one last flick with her tongue. She took my hands and pulled me up. Both of us, now on a sitting position. I got up a little to kneel in front of her. With my hands still shaking a bit, I reached for the hem of her shirt. She smiled knowingly. She held her hands up so I can take her shirt of. I'm got no more patience to play around I want to feel her skin to skin. I put my arms around her to unhook her bra bringing our body and face closer for a moment. Her eyes got darker.

"na-ah, It's my turn, my love. Let me enjoy you're body. I'll make it worth you while."

She was still wearing her jeans, so I pulled her to stand beside the bed. I kneeled in front of her. I unbuttoned her jeans making sure that my fingers would reach inside her underwear and play with her curls.

She gasp.

"It's payback" I said looking up and she met my eyes.

Holding her gaze, I licked her navel.

She bit her lip to stifle her moans. I can see her hands shaking at her sides and I was glad I wasn't the only one affected by this sensual encounter.

"I want to hear your voice, Sei"

I removed her jeans together with her underwear. I can see the evidence of her arousal. Her core glistening under my gaze.

My face close to her most sensitive spot, I look up and find her looking down at me.

I put palms on each of her legs and I rubbed them up and down, closer and closer to where I'm sure she wanted to be touch.

She held her breath as I got near her core almost touching it...almost.

I stood up and smirked. She growled.

She turned me around and she unhooked my shorts from behind. Her front touching my back. She slowly slid down my back leaving kisses following the line of my spine. She pulled down my shorts and next followed my underwear. She nipped at my butt before getting up. It tickled a bit.

I pushed her down and crawled on top of her. I leaned down making bare skin touch bare skin, front to front. It was a wonderfully exhilarating. I became aware of every square inch where our bodies touch.

I kissed her with all the pent up passion I've been holding up for years. Our tongue dance and our hands touch each other's body wherever we can reach. I made my way down to her neck sucking and licking returning the pleasure she'd given me earlier. Her moans making me more determined to please her. I trailed kissed down to her breast. I cupped both breast with each of my hands, giving quick little licks and light nips on each one.

"Youko... more"

"Beg me"

"Please... Youko"

She had the sheets tangled on her left hand while her right hand is gripping hard on my shoulder, I'm sure it's going to leave a mark.

I feel her need. She must be very sensitive. I barely had time to explore her tempting form.

I will make more discoveries later, I vowed.

I moved one of my hands down to where she needs it most. Leaving a ghostly trail with my fingertips. As my hand gets inched closer to its destination, I can feel her breathe became heavy anticipating the contact.

As soon as I reached her clit, I pressed down and draw rough circles over it.

"Ahh...nnn... Youko"

"Youko"

I love the sound of my name on her lips.

I rubbed her clit a bit harder and sucked on her breast. I can feel her trembling all over.

I rubbed my fingers over her pussy coating them with her juices. I entered her with my middle finger.

"Ha...ha...Oh fuck, Youka..oh"

I moved my finger slowly in and out getting her accustomed to the feel of me inside her. When I felt her insides relax a little. I pump more roughly.

"Nnnn...ha...ha..."

Her breathing has become heavy. I slid another finger inside her.

"I'm about to..."

I curled my fingers inside drumming them against her walls, over and over, as deep as I can reach. I can feel her clamping down on me trapping my fingers in her molten core. I continued to tease and plunder.

"AHH!...Youko"

She came.

She shuddered convulsively for bit and I can feel her walls clenching and unclenching around my fingers.

I let her ride out her orgasm whispering sweet nothings on her ear before I freed my finger from inside her.

She gasp a little.

Seeing, feeling and hearing her reach her climax also made me want to be touched. I instinctively clamp my thigh to try and quench my desire.

I lay beside her as she slowly regain her composure.

"Thank you love, that was great", she gave me a sweet kiss.

She flipped over me and gave me a playful nip in the neck.

"My turn"

She took my lips with a long and sensual kiss he tongue teasing mine.

When she broke the kiss, I called her attention.

"Sei", I can hear the need in my voice and I know she does too.

"Where do you want me?"

I took her hand and guided her to my pussy.

"I got a better idea"

Before I can ask her what it was, she slithered down between my legs.

She spread my pussy with her fingers.

"Sei, please don't stare", I was embarrassed I almost clamped my thighs on her head.

"Why? It's beautiful. Your beautiful"

She gave my pussy an experimental lick. I can feel it glide from my entrance to my clit. My legs shook and my pussy throbbed wanting more.

Our gazes met and she blew on my pussy. I can feel my self dripping.

With out gazes still lock, she took my clit in her mouth and played with it with her tongue. I broke eye contact as closed my eyes in ecstasy.

"nnn... Sei...Sei"

I continue to chant her name. The only coherent thought left in my brain.

She moved a lower and the next thing I knew, I was writhing with pleasure.

"Fuck Sei..ah...Sei"

She entered me with her tongue.

Gliding her tongue in and out, putting pressure around my entrance. All my muscled clenched against these waves and waves of pleasure.

She moved back her tongue to my clit and slowly inserted her middle finger. This almost made me climax. My hips are uncontrollably trembling.

"Cum for me Youko"

She gently bit my clit and at the same time twirled her finger inside me, hitting all the right places. My whole body shook. A flash of white light blinding me momentarily.

"Sei!" I screamed her name as I reach the peak.

Minutes later we are cuddled together.

I have my head buried on her neck and my arms around her waist. She has her chin on top of my head and her arms around my shoulder.

"Youko"

"hmn?"

"I did say I love you, right?"

"Yeah"

"I'm just making sure you know"

"I love you too, Sei"

THE END

Whew. I did this in one sitting so it may seem hurried especially the rated M part. I was already tired and just wanted to finish it.

I hope the POV's did not confuse you. This piece is more of an experiment. My original techniques in writing is Chapter 1. Chapter 2 and 3 are more of like testing the water.

Even the rated M part is just a trial for me.


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